As my maternity leave draws to a close I have started becoming very introspective.
On one hand...
A large part of me can't wait to get back to work. My job makes me feel important in a respectful way, a way that being a mom cannot suffice. I like having a routine, waking up at the same time, going to the same place every day and having a completely different day each time. I really enjoy fixing problems (in my job that is a daily occurrence) and I like helping people when they need help. I like making money and I often feel like I'm a very large contributor to society. I enjoy working on a computer, seeing adults, and having adult conversations.
On the other hand...
A large part of me wants to stay home with my kids. I want to have play dates with other kids and go to the Children's Museum every day. Being a mom makes me feel loved and accepted in a way that nothing else can. I want to watch them grow and learn, I want to teach them how to cook and bake and how to play duck duck goose (yes it's GOOSE even though we live in Minnesota.) We would dance and play goofy games all day. I want to join the YMCA and go swimming and play gymnastics. I want to be that wonderful house wife that has dinner on the table when my man gets home. The house would be clean and organized, I would have the perfect family.
Reality...
I will start back at work next week. I will sleep in by accident and have to rush to work. I will go to the same place every day and have the exact same day. I will not always be able to take a shower! I will stay home with my kids on the weekends and my days off and they will have complete meltdowns and throw fits. I will work because I have to. We will go to the museum occasionally and hang out with our friends that have kids. I will work on the computer all day and not want to touch it once I come home. I will have adult conversations and play Castle with blocks all in one day. We may not join the YMCA, but we will have a jungle gym in our living room. I will cook when I can and bake on occasion. My house will be chaotic and messy. I will love it. I will be home. We will be the best family that we can be!
Somehow it will all work out and the only thing I can do is hold on for this wild ride!
1 comment:
Love it! I especially love that you play Duck, Duck, Goose vs. Duck, Duck, Gray Duck.
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