Trepidation and Preparation

So if this child decides not to join us in the world tonight she will be entering the world sometime tomorrow. I have a scheduled C-Section tomorrow morning, but I'm hoping that we can still do a VBAC if my body allows. Right now I can just hear my inner dialogue,
Body: "uh, you want me to do what?!"
Baby: "you need to contract and dilate so that I can come out."
Body: "where do you think that's going to happen?"
Baby: "right down there!"
Body: "nuh uh, find another way!"
(Yes, everything in my life has it's own monologue.)
So, we've found another way. Unfortunately I have to have a C-Section since the Prince was a one. Apparently there is a high risk for hemorrhaging with an induction and a prior C-Section. I'd rather not have to deal with that so we're going with whatever the doctor suggests. I've been on maternity leave since November 30th, so I'm also preparing for a fight with my employer's insurance company to give me a little more time off (with pay) as well. Otherwise I have been sitting around, wondering if every tiny pinch or kick is finally the start of labor. No luck.

Trepidation: I'm scared of having to deal with another C-Section (scar, pain, soreness, etc.) My recovery the first time was really nice and everything went well, but I now have a three year old home with me and I won't get to nap/rest quite as much as before. I also have some fears of the hospital bills themselves. I remember what the Prince cost and I'm not looking forward to those bills again! Yeah I know, I shouldn't be thinking about that sort of thing right now, but in my life, it's a big factor.

Preparation: I'm making a nice pot roast in the crock pot today (actually my mom is...it's wonderful to have a great mom that comes just to clean and cook for me!). This will be my last non-hospital meal for awhile and hopefully it will last a couple days (freeze the meat tonight!) after we get home. My mom and I (I'm very little help these days) have been cleaning all day and preparing for when I return from the hospital.

I can't wait until I can FINALLY hold this little girl in my arms...and have a glass of wine!