Why does D-TV have to be so D-ifficult?

Digital versus Analog.

I know, I know for the last year or so (more since Obama delayed the switch) we have been hounded by the digital conversation of our ever so important television programing. First of all, I think it's all a hoax. I honestly have a theory that all those government approved digital converter boxes will someday turn into converter transformers and take us all hostage. Or, when the government finally gets their way and we all have government sanctioned health care, these boxes are going to start emitting gamma rays and making people sick to scour up some money for Washington. Okay, so those theories are a little anger driven, but I wouldn't be so angry if our digital television actually worked. I did get the government coupons (I'll be damned if I'm paying $50 for a $10 POS!) and we got two converter boxes to go in our house.
I seriously think that these boxes were made by some poor Chinese boy who was getting paid five cents a day to work in a sweat shop. They weigh nothing at all and if you've ever seen Jurassic Park you know that if its heavy its expensive. The buttons do not work well at all. And when I mean they don't work well, I mean they don't work at all! You can push the volume button and the channel will change, or you can push the 2 button and the damn thing will turn off! Recently I've started just mashing the controller with my hand to see what comes up...it's my own little game show.
This is all beside the point because I truly believe that I am suffering from ADD since we got the new digital converters. You see, you can be watching a program and all the sudden the screen will scramble and the picture will go out. This happens at least every 4-5 minutes (depending on the channel) and it's extremely frustrating when trying to watch football or any sort of programming. At least with analog you could enjoy the show even if there was a little static. Now I'll be sitting there waiting for the punch line to a joke and
*oh look a penny!*
There is one good thing about the signal scrambling all the time; since I get so frustrated I rarely want to watch television anymore!
At first we thought perhaps we need a boost for our TV to get the signals. Since the genius that designed our house used foil wrapped insulation ('cause it was the cheapest) you'd think that our house itself would act like one giant coat hanger, but I'm afraid that it's the exact opposite. We purchased a middle of the road digital antennae and put it up under the overhang of our house. This helps only when the sky is clear, there are no airplanes overhead, there are no cars driving by, and the butterflies outside flap their wings twice. I live on a very busy street in the Twin Cities, minutes from a major international airport and a mere 3 miles from a busy small engine airport, and it takes effort to get all those butterflies to get in synch! However, I can see both sky lines if I'm standing on the roof of my house! I do NOT understand how a digital signal can get scrambled from 10 miles away?!?
I think the true conspiracy theory was made by the cable companies.
[in my best evil gangster voice]
"Just in time for a giant recession, let's take every one's television away, see, so they HAVE to buy cable. Yeah. We can make it really cheap for the first three months, see, to reel them in, then smack them with the real costs of $100+ per month, see! Yeah, that's the ticket!"

Like I said, lately I haven't been watching much television so it doesn't bother me too much (except for Sundays when football is on!!) However, in a little over a month, I will be home all day long and even with my multitude of movies I seriously think I will be stir crazy by the time Christmas gets here! I guess I will just have to invest in TV on DVDs.

Hmmm, another conspiracy?!?